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Saudade

by Boston Manor

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1.
Gone 02:35
well I got desperate when you were broken clinging along to words you'd spoken i know that my bones are aching and I'm sick of waking up in strange places but that's comfort in this cold cos i'm lost but i'll wait for the morning cause you won't be up to find me well I got desperate when you were broken (cos you're the crutch that keeps me standing) clinging along to words you'd spoken (but this distance is demanding) sorry that i wasn't here i promise i'll be there next year but you could never shed those tears cos i won't be around cos i won't be around we'll wait for the morning but i know these roads like the veins on my hands well I got desperate when you were broken (cos you're the crutch that keeps me standing) clinging along to words you'd spoken (but this distance is demanding) sorry that i wasn't here i promise i'll be there next year but you could never shed those tears cos i won't be around
2.
Wide awake, from the pain in your neck. Keep your eyes on the road & Forget what they say. I hope the voices in your head only whisper today. But I know they scream instead. I hope the fire in your belly doesn't smoke out your brain. We'll play hide & seek with the world on the other team. Sleep for the rest of my days. & I'd just wish the world away. So chew me up & spit me out. I'll hit the bed before I drown. Restless nights, alone again. That stabbing pain in your head. You'd rather be home. You'd rather be home again. You'd rather be home. With Trapped Nerves in your neck. Cause you're the air in my lungs. & I'm the tear on your cheek. So i'll turn off my alarm so we can sleep. Cause I wish you felt better. (Cause you are better) You are better than me. On & on we're only getting deeper. Too deep for you to see. So chew me up & spit me out. I'll hit the bed before I drown. Restless nights, alone again. That stabbing pain in your head. You'd rather be home. You'd rather be home again. You'd rather be home. With Trapped Nerves in your neck. Sleep for the rest of my days. & I'd just wish the world away. So chew me up & spit me out. I'll hit the bed before I drown. Restless nights, alone again. That stabbing pain in your head. You'd rather be home. You'd rather be home again. You'd rather be home. With Trapped Nerves in your neck. I wish you felt better You are better than me.
3.
I'll buy some cigarettes And smoke them on the beach I'll walk home alone And douse my whole bedroom in bleach Because I feel safe Behind these four brick walls But my skins too thin so can I borrow yours? It's just enough To let you walk out of that door Knowing you left your head at home. I'll close my eyes but i haven't dreamed in weeks I'll board up all of my windows And sedate myself with sleep Cause i'm not giving up, but not getting up Still here and it's all because of me. Because i wished it was bright So i'll just wait for the light I'm sick of hearing i'm wrong Instead of hearing i'm right I'm sick of hearing that everything is fine. All i ever wanted to be was Safe in the comfort of my own company All that you ever needed from me Was for me to be concious And act like theres nothing wrong. I'll close my eyes but i haven't dreamed in weeks I'll board up all of my windows And sedate myself with sleep Cause i'm not giving up, but not getting up Still here and it's all because of me. I fell asleep with the weight of the world Crushing me until i'm gone.
4.
Shade 03:14
I remember the day you discovered your shadow You were in the back garden by the apple tree What's your favorite color What songs do you like What makes you angry And what makes you cry You know that I mean well But I missed your call & I forgot to return it You gave me your love Even though I've not earned it Because you're good to me And I deserve to see How it makes you feel when I always leave I hope that you miss me There will be time someday Apologize, I'll compromise Avoid my eyes I'd rather go back into your shade But I'll miss your progress From the mess that I made Tell mom I'm alright And tell dad I'm okay Did you get the last card I sent on your birthday? I wish that we were closer I wish that you had known me When I was younger And understood the choices That I've made

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released November 20, 2015

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Boston Manor Blackpool, UK

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